Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Caution! This is quite a long post. If you feel like not really want to waste your time, then do not start to read! Because once you've start it, you'll never stop. Hehehe...


Lately, I was an insomniac that ready to eat somebody's brain because -f*ck!- wide open eyes in the middle of the night is sooooo stressful! Seperti pernah terjadi beberapa kali di masa lalu, when I couldn't sleep, mostly it was because my brain didn't want to stop working. Kayanya pikiran gw terus berjalan, semua orang berseliweran, semua masalah lalu lalang... Demmm, cape tau gaaaa??

Memang sih, kayanya gw tahu kenapa gw susah tidur. There's two ugly things that happen in the past week. And those unpleasant things brings a lot of tought in my mind. It made me feel bad about myself too! Damn.. I'm still amaze about how people can blew up my guts just in a second, like pushing an off button! Huhuhu...

But now, after a few moments, a few cries, a few conversations, I realize that those two ugly things are the key in turning my self to be a much better person after this. Fiiiuuuhhhh.... Even it was so hard for me to pull myself again, but hey, life is short, so why worry, eh? 

The first lesson that I got is how to counter negative energy or negative person that come to me. Don't try to defend yourself when they come or talk, just listen to their negative words, even when your heart is disagree with what they said, nod your head few times, keep smiling, just try to remember what they said like it was a bunch of data that stuffed to your head, go home, take a long warm bath, and after you relax rewind it all over again, then you decide whether they right or wrong, which part can you use, which can't, with no hard feeling at all! Sounds so easy but its not. LOL. But (again) you can try it! It won't kill you anyways.. Haha.. And the impact is soooo amazing! After I did it, I can listen to people and be much more patient, at least for these last few days. Hehe..

Second thing is, I found myself as a very weak person. One of my weaknesses is my brain always automaticaly analyze what will people think about me, the way I talk, the way I dressed, the way I laugh, the way I think, I always questioned, what will people think about it? And I always try to perform my best so that people will have no bad things to judge about me. Is it necessary to do that, to have that kind of thinking? NOPE! Big NO-NO! But sometimes I can't help it because it is like automatically happen in my head! 

The only reason to "do my best" is MYSELF. I will do it because I feel comfort in doing it. And I won't do it because of people around me. That is my second lesson that I got.

Third lesson is I found that I have too much thing that I worry about, sometimes unnecessary things. I can't relax. And it was exhausting! Now, like what I was write above, I'm trying to loosen up a bit! Life is short, so why worry?! Yeay!! 

Okay, enough for the serious thing that I babbled about. Few random things about me lately: 
  • - I had a slight toothache that can be bigger anytime soon. Ouch!
  • - I ate a lot than usual, I ate one kind of food on and on, my mood was really swing, some friends tell me that I might be pregnant but I dunno.. Hihi... Haven't do any test yet. 
  • - I haven't see Twilight! Despite all of the controversy, I still want to see the so-called-adorable Edward Cullen! Haha..
  • - Curently, I watch Dirty Sexy Money series. This series is kinda fun to watch and quite good. 
  • - I had a lot of fun with my dearly old friends at Bandung yesterday! It was so nice to meet people who brought lots of positive energy back to your arms! Hehe..
  • - And below are some random happy pictures from our "photo session" at IBCC rooftop :